You didn’t choose the dark—it crawled inside you and redecorated. This shirt isn’t goth. It’s not aesthetic. It’s spiritual corrosion wrapped in cotton. Your sense of humor? Unsavable. Your aura? A sinkhole. You walk into a room and the candles blow themselves out. You’re not edgy. You’re bleeding ink and screaming into voids that scream back. This isn’t a vibe. It’s a diagnosis.
You’ve laughed at funerals. You’ve made eye contact with roadkill. You flirt using threats and trauma bonding. There’s mold in your soul and blood in your coffee. You didn’t come here to heal—you came here to spread the rot. This tee doesn’t just say “the darker the better”—it summons something from beneath your floorboards. So wear it proud, you beautiful black-hearted crypt-dweller. Because sunlight fears you. And honestly? Good
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
