Ah yes—the universal pose of trust, fear, and deep personal regret. This shirt pays tribute to that sacred moment when you’re pantsless, vulnerable, and aggressively being told to make weird eye contact with a wall. Whether it’s prison intake, military physicals, or just a really sketchy massage parlor—you’ve squatted, and you’ve coughed.
This tee isn’t just for ex-cons. It’s for drama queens, chaotic bisexuals, and anyone who’s ever been asked to turn their head and cough while contemplating every life choice that got them there. You don’t just wear this—you relive the trauma with style.
Perfect for family gatherings, parole board meetings, or any party that needs a little awkward silence. People will read it. People will question it. And if they laugh? Keep them. They understand you.
So pull it on, drop it low, and let the shame echo.
“Squat and Cough”—because some of us were never meant for polite society.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
