This sweatshirt doesn’t ask nicely — it demands. “Spit On It” is for the filthy-minded freaks who know that if it’s dry, it’s denied. You don’t do small talk. You don’t do foreplay. You go straight to spit first, questions never. It’s for the lube-optional, shame-absent, throat-trained psychos who know moisture is a love language and spit is holy water.
Wearing this is like walking around with your browser history on your chest. You’re not here to be polite — you’re here to ruin lives, stain sheets, and leave people ruined in the best and worst ways. Slap this on and let them know: if you’re involved, it’s going to be slippery, messy, and soaked in sin. Extra points if you say it out loud in church, at a wedding, or while ordering food.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
