WANTED: You, Dumbass.
Charge: Being too hot, too nasty, and fully incapable of behaving in public.
Status: Armed with attitude and extremely down bad.
Crime Scene: Anywhere with poor lighting, loose morals, and a questionable soundtrack.
“It’s Felony Time” isn’t a joke — it’s a lifestyle. This sweatshirt is for the ones who don’t settle for misdemeanors. No baby crimes here. We're talking full-blown felonies: breaking hearts, blowing backs out, and causing long-term psychological damage with just one look. Wearing this means you woke up and chose violence... or at least violation. You’re not here to follow the law — you are the law, and it’s horny, chaotic, and carrying a weapon somewhere.
Whether you’re dodging charges or collecting them like trophies, this one’s for you. No bail. No mercy. Just pure, certified criminal behavior.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
