There’s no warning. No countdown. No “maybe we shouldn’t.” Just this shirt, a deranged grin, and a suspiciously full duffel bag. You’re not here to break rules—you’re here to shatter them and piss on the pieces. Wearing this tee means you’ve already made the decision, deleted the evidence, and texted “lol” to someone who definitely should’ve called the cops. You don’t commit crimes—you star in them. This is not misdemeanor energy. This is prison shank energy.
You didn’t come to play—you came to ruin lives, break leases, and possibly tase a mall Santa. You’ve got five unpaid parking tickets, a burner phone, and a suspiciously intimate relationship with chaos. You don’t run from the law—you sprint toward it shirtless with a rock in your hand. Wearing this isn’t a statement—it’s an alibi waiting to collapse. So zip up your hoodie, leave your morals at the door, and scream it with your chest: It’s. Felony. Time.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
