This shirt is not metaphorical. You’re physically, emotionally, and structurally compromised. Your joints click when you blink. You haven’t clenched since 2017. Everything about you is hanging on by a damp thread. Your morals? Loose. Boundaries? Evaporated. Every door in your life is unlocked, unlatched, and slightly ajar—and that includes your body. You don’t hold it together—you leak confidence and suspicious fluids wherever you go.
You’re not just loose—you’re unhinged, undone, and legally unfastened. This tee is a public service announcement. It says: “Approach with caution—I could fall apart or fall in love and either way it’s messy.” You’ve ghosted people mid-conversation, cried during drive-thru orders, and once got kicked out of physical therapy for "too much limp." And through it all, one thing remains true: You’re loose. You’re proud. And you’re absolutely unfit for public use.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
