This isn’t just a maybe—it’s a yes before you even finish the sentence. You’re not calculating risk. You’re not weighing consequences. You’re already halfway to the scene in crocs and a grin. This shirt says: “Yes, officer. That’s me on the footage.” You’re the kind of person who sees a big red button and licks it. Not because you should—but because you’re bored and morally flexible.
People ask, “You wouldn’t actually—” You would. And you did. This shirt is a pre-crime vibe. It’s delusional approval in 100% cotton. You’d do it for money, for attention, for a vibe shift, or honestly? Just because you were hungry and unsupervised. No thoughts. No hesitation. No guilt. Just that dumb, beautiful instinct whispering in your head: “I’d do it.”
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
