One word. One cry for help. This isn’t just a t-shirt—it’s an unresolved issue wrapped in cotton. You walk in wearing this and everyone immediately knows: You’ve got abandonment trauma, boundary problems, and a soft spot for emotionally unavailable men who vape in bed and owe child support.
Is it a question? A plea? A trap? Yes. You’re not looking for a father figure—you’re looking for someone to ruin your credit and leave their socks at your place for six months. You don’t want stability. You want to be picked up and dropped off like a cursed Build-A-Bear. No context. No healing. Just vibes and very bad decisions.
Perfect for:
Gas stations at midnight
Court appearances
Situationships that should’ve been one-night stands
Asking for nothing but expecting everything
Black tee. White text. 100% cotton. Zero closure.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
