You're not shy. You’re not subtle. You’re a certified face-first, no-napkin, full-tongue explorer of the human undercarriage. This shirt doesn’t beat around the bush—it spreads cheeks and dives in headfirst. You're the reason wet wipes sell out. The reason someone’s walking funny. The reason God doesn’t return your prayers. You don’t just eat ass—you gourmet it. Bib on. Elbows deep. Eyes locked.
This isn’t a kink—it’s a calling. You’re built to nibble. You’ve got lockjaw from commitment and a taste for suffering. Your comfort zone is between legs and beneath dignity. And the shirt? It’s not asking. It’s informing. You're not one of those “if the vibe is right” types—you’re clearing your schedule. Because at the end of the day, when all else fails, you know what needs to be done. Ass. Must. Be. Munched.
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
