Abuse Me - Super Silly Hats

This isn’t a cry for help—it’s a demand for chaos. This hat is for the emotionally unstable, the intimacy-challenged, and the pleasure-pain enthusiasts who think boundaries are “just suggestions.” You don’t want love—you want ruin. You want to be lied to, cheated on, choked out, and called names you can’t say in front of HR.

This is a kink, a trauma response, and a personality all rolled into one slutty little cap. You're not looking for affection—you’re looking for someone to ruin your credit and rearrange your guts. This hat doesn’t say “treat me right.” It says “destroy me and block me by sunrise.”

Therapists hate this one. Daddy issues not included—but heavily implied.

Disclaimer:

By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.