Congratulations. You’ve officially unlocked the “Menace to Dating Apps” starter pack. This bundle isn’t a fashion choice—it’s a cry for help delivered through pelvic thrusts and unrequested voice memos. You don’t text people “wyd,” you text them "you up?" at 3:47am followed by a photo of your floor mattress and a voice note that just says “breathe heavy if you're down.” You don’t go on dates—you conduct social experiments. And somehow, somehow, people still swipe right... once.
Each shirt in this bundle smells faintly of regret, expired lube, and a vape pen that fell in a toilet and still works. "NO SELF RESPECT" is the foreplay. "HOLE DRILLER" is the promise. "SOUNDS KINKY, I’M IN" is the felony. Wearing all three together will get you banned from dating apps, Home Depot, and possibly your mom’s group chat. This is not a bundle—it’s a walking red flag factory. Your next situationship is watching from the shadows. Buy now and get ghosted faster than you can say “it’s not chlamydia if we don’t label it.”
Disclaimer:
By purchasing or using any product from Super Silly Company, you acknowledge that we are purveyors of absurd novelties, not your legal counsel, financial advisor, or that one cousin who claims to "know a guy." Super Silly Company, its employees, and the office gremlin who keeps stealing our pens shall not be held liable for any consequences arising from your use of our products, including but not limited to: sparking government surveillance, igniting barstool arguments, or causing your grandma to choke on her dentures. Our goods are designed for shits and giggles, not courtroom dramas, so don’t come knocking if your purchase lands you in hot water or a viral shitstorm. Proceed at your own risk, you delightfully unhinged customer.
